words i forget

it’s happening a lot lately, honestly. words just…disappear. wild, right? i mean, i don’t feel old enough to start googling “forgetfulness” or “holy shit could this be early onset dementia” or even “what the hell does early onset dementia even mean”.

too early.

doesn’t mean it doesn’t happen though. i lost a word last night when i was trying to explain to my husband and our oldest that his school was going remote in the morning because someone had tested positive and that their BLANK stage was just a few days ago.

infections? cautious? dangerous? what the f&^k was the word?!

no and no.

i have too much pride to stop and really search for a word, either. i’ll just hammer on and try my best to explain around the gaping hole in my sentence and by now, my poor husband and our kids just sorta bounce along the bumpy road of mom’s communication skills the best they can.

when i get really frustrated, i say that the stress of bearing the ENTIRE load of family-ing in 2020 and 2021 has finally done permanent damage and that if they don’t pitch in and wash some damn dishes or pick up their socks, i am promising to forget christmas and the wifi password next, sohelpmegod.

mostly, though, my gaps and losses are probably easily explained away by the sheer amount of kdrama and anime i’ve been watching. i don’t always know the word for the thing you push around the floor that dips in and out of a bucket (yeah, a mop…) but i know all the stats for the superhero All Might and can tell you bakuguo’s tragic backstory without dropping a name or mispronouncing the japanese names even a little bit.

but i’ll forget what we put in our coffee each morning? it makes no sense to me either.

oh, and that word earlier? the one i was looking for last night?

contagious.

it hit me like a brick in the forehead at 2 a.m.