bitch, i might be…

“you in a mood today, or what?”

ya’ll.

i’m in such a massively shitstorm of a bad mood today and the fact that i’m moments away from swan-diving into my bed isn’t helping.

remember how i told you i was an annoyingly optimistic leo? well, it’s true. but what also is true that i’m a human with piece-of-shit human emotions, and piece-of-shit fellow humans i have to share this zipcode with and sometimes one can completely undo the other.

here’s a hint: it’s rarely my emotions that undo some of the piece-of-shit humans.

my kids got picked on by crappy kids across a messenger service that caters to kids and it was all i could do NOT to toss that damn device out my window and into oncoming traffic. i’m done with asshole kids and the parents who gaslight anyone who might question their preciouses.

i’m also done with grown ass humans who think today might be the day to push me a couple inches further than necessary.

i mean, honestly, it’s not like i’ve done much about the people who shit on my day, but in my head i love to dream about the dressing down on the shin kick or, you know, whatever, i would do to really get my displeasure across.

these revenge fantasies mostly focus on a version of myself that curses a lot more than i do now, that doesn’t really filter things through the “will they be upset if i said this” lens, and of course, they always include me saying what i really think. about their kid. (fuck your kid. and fuck you, too.)

about their shitty fucking attitude. about that one thing that makes me want to fucking punch babies whenever they’re around. (i have nothing against babies, ya’ll. i promise.)

fantasies.

in the end, that’s all they are, aren’t they? damn this moral code and this shiny leo optimism that will have me back to normal tomorrow, where' i’ll probably read this and fail to remember just what got my tits so on fire.

(hint, future megan: they were mean to the one nice kid you have. also, that wanker did that one thing totally unprovoked and basically shit your whole friendship down the drain….for what? yeah, that’s what happened today, future megan.)

but i can dream. and i can plot the day where some unsuspecting fool looks at my resting go-ahead-and-fucking-try-it face and say “you in a mood or something?”

to which i will reply:

“bitch, i might be…”